Recovery the Journey

My baby is here!  She is beautiful, and I love her so much.  All during my pregnancy, I wondered how I would approach food and having a healthy relationship with it, especially when we found out we were having a girl.  How could I teach her that food should not have any emotional ties to it at all?  Teach her that food is only food, and should only be used as a way to stay healthy, strong, and alive?  Our culture is so food obsessed, especially when it comes to using it as a comfort for emotions we don't feel we can handle.  Did your boyfriend break up with you?  Binge on ice cream and chocolate.  Know someone who is going through a hard time?  Bring them cookies.  Stressed?  Get a Whopper and Coke (make sure it's the biggest size!).  Science has shown that these foods do send signals to your brain that calm you and make you feel better, but it has also shown that it doesn't last.  It's like drugs.  The more you do it, the more you need it, so next time you have more.  I fear this will be hard for me because I still attach emotions to food.  I try not to attach any sense of my self worth to what I cook or bake and if people like it or not (I'm a perfect example of how you can't account for tastes), but sometimes, it still hurts a little if my husband doesn't eat something I made.  How am I going to react when my daughter flat out tells me she hates it?  I know kids say those kinds of things.

One plan I have come up with is to always have alternatives available.  If my kids don't like what I made for dinner, they can have leftovers, or make a sandwich.  I don't like the idea of telling them to eat it, or don't eat at all.  But I can also see the benefits of doing it that way too.  If I tell them to eat what I made, or don't eat, then they will have to try new things.  They won't end up eating nothing but pb & j sandwiches 3 meals a day.  Or only macaroni and cheese.  Or whatever it is that they happen to love.  But I worry that if I do that, try to control their eating habits and food so strictly, that my children will end up with problems with food like me.  Because no matter how I choose to handle it, there is no way they will be going into the kitchen 5 minutes after dinner is over and getting cookies or something like that for a "snack" instead.  That's just not healthy.  At least, not until they are teenagers.

It will be at least a year before I even have to worry about this, really.  Even at 6 months, when she can start solids, it's stuff like rice cereals and mushy baby food.  It's when she can start making her own choices that I'm worried about.  And if I'm lucky, I'll never have to worry about it.  Because I'll be able to control myself enough to keep from over controlling my children, and they won't learn from me or anyone else that the only thing they have control over is their food.